I came across this post the other day (warning: some NSFW text) and immediately connected with so much of it. While I might not have used the exact same language, he makes a lot of really good points. There is so much that we are not prepared for when someone dies; this runs the gamut from the bureaucratic nightmare that is dealing with institutions on the death of a loved one, to not actually feeling sad, in the case of a person you knew but not well, when you feel that you should be experiencing some negative emotion but don’t.
If you don’t mind a bit of swearing and want an entertaining read on a difficult subject, check it out.